it breaks me.
do you have ANY idea of what it does?
yeah, here i write silly blogs of how it breaks me and shit.
it's stupid, really.
just an over reaction.
just something i need to get out.
something that i know, no matter how hard it gets, i can never justify to my favor.
cause, again, it's just an over reaction.
something i know i shouldn't dwell on too much, but can't stand NOT to.
better let something useless out.
than keep it in and let it break you more.
and as wrong, and as common this is, i still can't get over thinking about how you're with some other guy.
and as frequent and wrong as it sounds, it still tugs at those wounds.
i know, logically and radically, that there is NO effin way that you CAN'T be with a guy.
it's totally unreasonable to be jealous of that.
friendship goes two ways. to both genders.
and yet.
why is it..
pleasse, tell me..
that almost every time i see you with a guy, EVEN if that guy is also my friend..
or i see you wave
or smile
or say HI!
to some other guy, LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO..
my heart shatters.
and to make it all worse..
although, i'm pretty sure that it never IS in your case, the heart shattering, i mean..
i am, frequently around the company of my friends which compose mostly of the opposite gender, to be honest.
and when you think about it, it's sooooo stupid.
that EVEN I DO THE SAME.
what right, WHAT RIGHT, do i have to be even a tad bit jealous?
and to make myself feel better, i just go thinking..
and hoping..
and wishing..
that evil thought.. of maybe you feel the same way when you see ME with my friends. like that.
and it's sooo wrong.
that way i think of hurting you.
when in fact, it hurts me more since it hurts to know i'm INTENTIONALLY doing it to TRY to hurt you back.
irrationality is the heart's greatest quality.
and the way i act towards this situation, it's plain stupid.
double edged.
guess, it's really better to let it out, though.
even though i know that everything is not to my favor.
that anyone who hears this would probably be siding with you.
that maybe some might even hate me for it.
who knows?
useless.
do you have ANY idea of what it does?
yeah, here i write silly blogs of how it breaks me and shit.
it's stupid, really.
just an over reaction.
just something i need to get out.
something that i know, no matter how hard it gets, i can never justify to my favor.
cause, again, it's just an over reaction.
something i know i shouldn't dwell on too much, but can't stand NOT to.
better let something useless out.
than keep it in and let it break you more.
and as wrong, and as common this is, i still can't get over thinking about how you're with some other guy.
and as frequent and wrong as it sounds, it still tugs at those wounds.
i know, logically and radically, that there is NO effin way that you CAN'T be with a guy.
it's totally unreasonable to be jealous of that.
friendship goes two ways. to both genders.
and yet.
why is it..
pleasse, tell me..
that almost every time i see you with a guy, EVEN if that guy is also my friend..
or i see you wave
or smile
or say HI!
to some other guy, LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO..
my heart shatters.
and to make it all worse..
although, i'm pretty sure that it never IS in your case, the heart shattering, i mean..
i am, frequently around the company of my friends which compose mostly of the opposite gender, to be honest.
and when you think about it, it's sooooo stupid.
that EVEN I DO THE SAME.
what right, WHAT RIGHT, do i have to be even a tad bit jealous?
and to make myself feel better, i just go thinking..
and hoping..
and wishing..
that evil thought.. of maybe you feel the same way when you see ME with my friends. like that.
and it's sooo wrong.
that way i think of hurting you.
when in fact, it hurts me more since it hurts to know i'm INTENTIONALLY doing it to TRY to hurt you back.
irrationality is the heart's greatest quality.
and the way i act towards this situation, it's plain stupid.
double edged.
guess, it's really better to let it out, though.
even though i know that everything is not to my favor.
that anyone who hears this would probably be siding with you.
that maybe some might even hate me for it.
who knows?
useless.
And sometimes it takes too much pain and affliction; the one that even the biggest of hearts could not contain - to come up with the realization that all of this is not worth it. One person who could not see your grandeur is just a waste of time and effort - a futility of your existence.
ReplyDeleteand still after losing one, we look for the next and gamble our fate and the remaining pieces of our broken hearts, hoping that we'll finally come to a stop in our search and find that one person that truly belongs to us.
ReplyDelete