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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

all my life.

all my life.
i prayed for someone like you.
and i HOPE that you feel the same way too..
yeah, i PRAY that you love me too.

-All My Life by KC and Jojo

There goes by another minute.
another tick of the clock.
another second gone past.
another moment forgotten and left behind.

I notice myself looking forward to the next day.
The next day to see you.. to just simply BE WITH YOU.
to be able to smile at you.. and look at your smile.
to laugh with you.. to hear your wonderful laughter.. and to make you laugh.
to just know that you're safe.. and you're HERE.. with me.
at that moment. at that TIME that we were together.. that we are together..

the world doesn't exist.
and this THING that's been stuck up and overloading my chest..
goes away..
and it feels good, you know?

to not be THINKING about you so much
because YOU'RE THERE.

not like this.
how i'm being all emotional and stuff..
just cause this feeling in my chest won't go away..

and i might think-- and it would not be uncommon to think this--
that you just might be a "seasonal" thing..
for a limited time only..
an offer that DOES NOT LAST.
as every single thing in my life, earthly that is, has been.

i've been thinking.
thinking A LOT.
and the thought that constantly probes this mind of mine is that..
of all the Temporaries that i've had, you, by far, has been the MOST permanent of them all.
and ironical as it sounds, it's the truth.
AND you, by far, are the one i loved-- if i DO really-- the most.
the one i have GIVEN the most of my time..
and effort..
and thought..
and everything else i could offer.
of all the Temporaries, you're the most important.

and i fear.. that if i lose you..?
i'd go insane.

how can one existence take up so much thought?
HOW big are you that you fit in almost EVERY SPACE of my EVERY THOUGHT?
how can i prove.. that..

i have been looking for you?

there exists a list in my possession..
of all the qualities.. and characteristics.. and descriptions..
of the girl that i would give my heart to.

and i have LOOKED over that list for most of the Temporaries..
and i have thought that, maybe i could bend this one a bit.

but, when it came to comparing you to my list?
you leapt right off the paper.

i realized. that the list that i had?
was a fake. i had put in GENERAL things that i could easily manipulate..
or ignore.. to make FIT the Temporary.
and yet, YOU..
YOU match every single one..
and soo much more that ain't even in writing.

and ALL my life..
i have dreamed of finding somebody like you.

and i am POSITIVE.
that there are more guys out there that are better, smarter, more handsome than I will EVER be..
and yet, here i am..
giving my heart and soul..
writing like a damned romantic..
and a hopeless romantic at that..

and yet..
i know.

that even if the world would take away everything..
i'd still want to have you.
coz ALL my LIFE..
seasonal or not. temporary or not.
you're still the one that makes my chest constrict.

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